I know I wont always feel beautiful or perfect..
But I do know that I am loved just the way I am.
So why is it, that if I’m not looking my ‘Sundays best’, I’m treated as if I’m trash. Because what? I look that way to you? While finishing up my Christmas shopping with my Mom yesterday, we entered a store that we’ve been in many times before. We weren’t greeted, spoken to while walking to the check out counter, and had to wait for someone to notice us at the check out counter because the ladies had their backs turned. The manager finally turned around and asked if we needed help with anything. As we were getting the gift card and checking out, I tried to make conversation with the other girls behind the counter which went no where. They politely smiled and continued on with their conversation. I guess it was wrong of me to assume they’d bother talking to me. The fabulously put together manager had, what seemed like, perfect skin and airbrushed makeup, dark beautiful eyes and hair that probably took her 2 hours to do. I was fully comparing myself to her. My imperfections on my skin were no longer little things in my mind.. to me.. then and there.. they were the reason I was being ignored or even snubbed off. The fact that I was only wearing mascara and chap stick was throbbing in my head. My hoodie, my favorite hoodie, was now the worst thing I could have picked to put on that morning. What was I doing?! I was feeling fine before I walked into this place! I was in a fine mood.
I didnt allow this small event to ruin my night. I still enjoyed a good evening with my family while Bryan was at work. Bryan. Who has been working mainly nights all week, and I’ve been working from 6am to 5pm.. so we’ve hardly even crossed paths.
Maybe thats where all of this emotion is coming from. I’m jealous that Bryan has co-workers. He works with fabulous people, well put together people everyday. Then what.. comes home to me?
HECK YES! His WIFE! He comes home to the love of his life. The woman he chose to be with. Out of all the other girls he’s even been with or known. He chose me. So why WHY the heck do I allow myself to become overwhelmed with jealously and hurt when girls that he works with, or will be working with treat me badly? You may have just figured it out. Mom & I went into the HV Buckle. The store that Bryan is potentially moving to in February.
So what I dont have perfect skin, or fabulous hair or wear massive mounds of makeup. If I were to wear pounds of makeup, I’d break out even worse. My job starts at 7:30am. I need to leave our apartment by at least 6:15 or 6:30am. If I were to even attempt to doll up the way those girls do, I’d have to wake up before 5am! And we ALL know that wont happen. I’ll be putting my makeup on in the car once I finally make it to work anyways.
I guess what I’m trying to say is..
I’m not perfect. I never feel like I am. But at least I know that I am loved just the way I am. Imperfections and all. Treat people kindly no matter what. Be kind. Even if they look different.
(Source: viridiannightmares, via sydneybarber)
